Love is a universal desire, a feeling and a state of being. Love is a complex emotion that can be difficult to put into words and can sneak up on us or vanish without warning. When we have it, it feels amazing, when we lose it, it can be devastating.
If you are on the search for true love, then this article is meant for you. Searching for someone you connect with in a way that ignites the exciting sparks of love can be both an interesting adventure and at times seem like a frustrating chore.
Romantic movies and even ads on TV can at times make the mission for love seem simple. Simple to get and simple to keep. Yet if it was that simple and all you needed to do is glance across the room and lock eyes with the ideal mate, then everyone would already be in the perfect relationship, right?
Finding a date can be pretty easy for most. Finding someone to have sex with can also be easy. Getting in a relationship can be easy too. But finding, attracting and keeping that person that makes your heart sing is not always quite so easy. It takes a special connection for the chemistry to signal that this time you may be onto something great.
People search their whole life for the overwhelming joyful feeling of true love.
So What Makes Finding Love So Difficult?
In your search for love, is it possible that some of the obstacles that have been in the way have been put there by you? Might there be some blocks that are not caused by external factors but instead created by your own thinking, beliefs or behaviour? The truth is that sometimes we are our own worst enemy in the search for love.
Consider these 3 barriers on the path to love:
Your Self-Worth is Low
This block can be confronting but is one of the leading obstacles to finding a great partner and building an amazing relationship. If you don’t value yourself highly and do not believe you deserve the best, then everything you do and think from that point, both consciously and unconsciously, will reflect your inner belief.
Low self-worth can show up in all parts of your life. Everything you have in your life is a reflection of your self-worth. If you are in a job you don’t like or you settle for less than you deserve in any part of your life, it all comes down to how you value yourself and what you believe you deserve out of life. Working on yourself first and building your self worth to a healthy level is a key ingredient to finding a great partner and building a strong relationship.
2. You Are Full Of Fear
Although you may say you want more out of life and that love is important, you are fearful of the risks that come with giving your heart away to love. Maybe you have been hurt before, maybe more than once and the fear of it happening again prevents you from really jumping into something new.
Fear of what might go wrong stops us from achieving many great things in life and keeps us operating within the inner boundaries of our comfort zone. If your goal is to have a different and better relationship than ever before then the truth is you will need to do something different than ever before.
For change to happen, change needs to happen. And with that comes the fear of the unknown. Learn to let go of the fears that don’t serve you toward your goal and accept and embrace the fear of the unknown. Each time you break through a barrier of fear, you will learn and grow.
3. You’re Telling a Story
Think about all the things you say to yourself and say to others about why you have not been able to find a great partner. Are they really true? You might say things like ‘there are no good men/women left’ or ‘I don’t have time’ or ‘I’m too old/young/fat/skinny/fussy’ and so on. We tell ourselves stories about our lives and our barriers and then we go about proving them, so that our stories are true.
What if you made a decision to change your story today and replaced it with a story that was more resourceful in line with what you really want out of life. You are the author of your book of life and you get to hold the pen and write the story. At any time you can decide to tell a different and better story.
And, when you change your story, you change your state. You become more positive and motivated. And when you change your state, you can change your strategy. You will start to take different action that leads toward your new story.
Work and you and your self worth. Get some new knowledge in your head and surround yourself with people who help strengthen your self worth. Read, learn, get a coach, do whatever it takes.
Let go of the fears that hold you back and embrace the fear of the unknown as a good thing.
Change your story!
Doing these 3 things alone will begin to clear the blocks you have on the path to love. Make a decision today to take action to change your thinking and change your behaviour. Decide to do what it takes, ditch the excuses and go after the love you really deserve in this wonderful life.